`Rawr.

im okay...really....=`<

Sunday, July 17, 2005

00:52

* [ FoReVeR fRiEnDs // hearts of [lurve]... ] *
sighzz...mummy's not hm im bored...gggrrrr....i wonder y all my frez r attatched now...sighzz...i feel.....left out?lonely?unluved?sighz...was conferencing with sarah,jiande kia jin juz now....then dunno who asked mi if anyone got jio me ornot...then i started to feel bad for myself....sighzz...i feel so damn unattractive larzz...gggrr...thx for reminding me larzz....i conviced myself tt having a bf was too much work too many probs...but i actual fact i think i need one...juz so i noe at least tt one person will really be there when i hurt or cld go out with me juz coz im bored...sighzz...i guess i juz feel tt i need someone other than my usual frenzz when i've got probs...i feel like a bloody pain in the ass to them...alwayz complaining abt stuff...i noe tt tts wat they've there for but...sighzz..i juz feel so extra...when everyone goes hm i have to go hm even if i dun wan to coz i cldnt find anyone who cld go out with me in such short notice or i juz didnt wan to disturb them...like i said i dun wanna be a bloody pain in the ass....i find tt gal so lucky no one likes her but she still has her bf to fall back on..to cry on..n juz to be there for her...maybe im jealous evn if tt guy IS such a bloody idoit at least they have each other ritez?me?i have no one none nahnah zero...sighzz...i hurt to have no one...it feels so bloody painful...o shuckz i need to cry..shit...i need chocs...i need my jack daniel's(which is disappearing n onli one left)sighzz...i dunno y everyone can have such a gd relationship while mine always falls apart..juz FYI most of the time we broke up bcoz of bloody unapreciating unattractive stupid idiot ME....gggrrr....i cld kill myself i really cld...y do i always make myself unhappy?i luv myself dun i?...sighzz...life sux again...hhmm...i guess life is always gonna be sucky for me whether i have a bf or not...shall push this unhappiness to the back of my head with everyth else...ggrrr....all this sighing is making my hair white -looks at hair in horror n screams then faints to the floor-im so gonna fail my chem test again lar..i suck at it i hate it!!...yes fynette i noe the more i say it the more i will suck at it....ggrr...juz cant help it...i luv physics so much better....hhmm..someone told me tt maybe i was supposed to be a boi coz im so much better in maths n physics n all those calculation crap....i dunno...maybe it wld be better to be a boi...sometimes....hhhmm...my eyes r hurting again....it was really red on fri...sighzz...i've gotta go slp now...i've gotta wake up early tml...parents not in s'pore so no taxi...sighz..gotta take the bus..shit...i hate buses...so dirty n it makes me wanna puke...fyi the last time i puked it was pink n it flow down the abus as the driver hit the brakes...i ran off the bus as soon as the bus reached the bus interchange dint want to let the driver scream at i felt bad enough....ps:thx to the auntie or uncle who cleaned up the puke really sry but the driver's driving sucked...i cldnt help it...oo....n thx to the auntie who gave mi tissue n hugged mi like a mother until it was her stop...lurve her...anyway...my eyes r hurting so much i cant bloody see..i guess i sld get off the com now b4 my eyes fall out....nitezz...byezz...muackzxz....lurve ya all....=D